Southeastern Family Violence Center paid tribute to 13 victims who lost their lives to domestic violence over the last 25 years with a candlelight vigil and lantern release. They were women and men and children ranging in age from 2 months to senior citizens. A candle was lit for each one while a picture was displayed telling their story.
Domestic violence survivor and CEO of Her Life Matters Brendetta Terry shared the harrowing story of her escape from domestic violence during the Southeastern Family Violence Center’s inaugural candlelight vigil entitled “May We Never Forget” held Wednesday in Laurinburg.
LAURINBURG — October is Domestic Violence Awareness month, and the Southeastern Family Violence Center (SFVC) held a solemn, inaugural candlelight vigil Wednesday evening in Laurinburg entitled “May We Never Forget” to raise awareness and commemorate victims.
The ceremony opened with remarks by SFVC Executive Director Emily Locklear.
“We are here in sadness, mourning, celebration, and hope,” Locklear said. “We are sad for the lives taken too early, we mourn the beautiful spirits no longer with us, we celebrate the joy and love that these victims brought to this world, and we have hope and determination that our work and commitment will end the crime of domestic violence.”
Locklear drew spectators’ attention to the red silhouettes placed throughout the space. Each silhouette had a “shield” that told a story of a life cut short by domestic violence in Robeson County. As SFVC recently opened a branch in Laurinburg, they did not have time to get displays for Scotland County victims, but Locklear said they will have them next year.
Her remarks were followed by an opening prayer from Shirley Dockery and remarks by Laurinburg Police Chief Mitch Johnson. He said that domestic violence is also called intimate partner violence and is violence committed by someone in a family or relationship, and can be emotional, sexual, or physical.
“Because it’s a family issue, it’s everyone’s issue … In Laurinburg we have 22 reported cases documented, but other cases could be listed as aggravated assault or other crimes rather than as domestic violence,” Johnson said.
Domestic violence survivor and CEO of Her Life Matters Brendetta Terry shared the harrowing story of her escape from domestic violence. Terry began her speech by having audience members repeat after her, “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”
She then told her story of surviving 14 years of verbal, mental and physical abuse from her ex-husband. She said it started out as verbal and mental abuse. She did not realize at the time that she was being abused. Over the years, the abuse became worse and turned physical. She said the shame meant she, and many others, suffer in silence.
Her story culminated one year at Thanksgiving when she said, “He threatened to kill me. He kept me hostage in my house for two days. For two days, I wondered if I’d ever see my kids, my mom and dad ever again.”
The situation ended when he asked her, “’Do you want me to leave?’ And somehow, I found the courage to tell him ‘yes.’”
“That’s why I’m adamant,” she continued, “about helping other women. It’s not a pretty thing to go through and recovery takes a long time. You have to realize it’s not your fault. That’s why I’m the CEO of Her Life Matters. I found my voice and want to give back and help as many women as I can all over the country.”
After this testimony,
Holly Oxendine, SFVC clinical counselor reminded everyone, “It will take all of us to speak up and speak out to end domestic violence.” SFVC paid tribute to 13 victims who lost their lives to domestic violence over the last 25 years. They were women and men and children ranging in age from 2 months to senior citizens. A candle was lit for each one while a picture was displayed telling their story. At the end, a candle was lit for all the unnamed victims.
The ceremony ended with a launch of 13 paper lanterns by victims’ family members who were in attendance.
Domestic violence is experienced by one in four women, one in seven men, and eight out of every thousand children in the US. One in four children are also witnesses to domestic violence. Women ages 18-34 experience the highest rates of domestic violence.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the SFVC at 910-361-4146.