W. Curt Vincent
Editor
The bride and groom popped out from the heavy, wooden church doors with a little hop in their step and umbrellas in their hands.
Rain on the wedding day is good luck, right?
But did this couple know anything about what they were getting themselves into? As they passed their family and friends, did they have any thoughts beyond the soon-to-be reception and the honeymoon to follow? Before they began planning their perfect June wedding, had they discussed finances, a plan for children or which side of the family they would visit on each holiday?
Why were they getting married in the first place?
Sure, they looked ecstatic as they made their way through the rain toward a waiting limo. They looked like bright-white smile twins in the midst of a toothpaste commercial. Their happiness at that very moment was unquestionable.
But what lay ahead?
Jackson Browne gave us all a little insight to what marriage will bring within the lyrics of his song, “Sky Blue and Black,” when he sang, “… there is a need to be separate and a need to be one; and a struggle neither wins.”
So true. Did this couple understand the work gthat will be involved?
But despite how real that struggle can be, it doesn’t need to be debilitating.
During my 40 years of newspaper journalism, I’ve had the opportunity to talk with dozens of couples who were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary — as well as one or two who were celebrating a 75th anniversary.
Both are pretty incredible accomplishments.
The one common question for each of these couples has been predictable: What has been the secret to your marital longevity?
There have been a myriad of answers.
Faith in God.
Never go to bed angry.
Have respect for each other.
Communication.
Common likes.
Hard work.
Family support.
And there have been more. All quite valid.
But if there is one specific answer I will never forget, it came as one of the very first couples I listened to about their 50th wedding anniversary back in the early 1980s.
The couple was my grandparents.
I remember spending an evening at their home listening to the stories about where they grew up, how they met, where they went on their first date, how the proposal went and all of the highlights over the next 50 years. The stories included things like new houses, children, grandchildren, vacations and a variety of firsts like a car, a television, a telephone and, at about the same time as their 50th anniversary, a microwave.
I don’t remember who asked “what has been the secret to your marital longevity,” but I will always remember the answer.
“I married my best friend,” my grandfather said.
“Me too,” my grandmother said.
It was as simple as that — for them. And perhaps it’s as simple as that for this happy couple who were just starting their life-long journey. They may very well have a strong faith in God, won’t ever go to bed angry, have all the respect in the world for each other, always communicate, share many likes, put in the work and enjoy plenty of family support — and more.
But are they best friends?
As the couple shut the door and were whisked away in the limo, all of those left behind under the umbrellas were probably hoping so.
W. Curt Vincent can be reached at 910-506-3023 or cvincent@laurinburgexch.wpenginepowered.com.