The caller didn’t have a complaint. He didn’t even have a compliment. Nor did he share his name — only that he’s a Scotland County resident who has taken The Laurinburg Exchange for 57 years.
That’s a lot of newspapers.
The reason for his call was simple: he wanted to know when I would be challenging folks again with “a six-word something-or-other.” His words, I swear. He added that he’d been practicing, though I’m not sure how one would do that.
So, since my planned column about the lives of an ant colony that has excavated down the side of our building fell through after the last rainfall, I’ve decided to see if anyone else has been awaiting the next six-word challenge.
If you recall, the first one in October was your story of a lifetime in just six words; the second was in December and asked for your favorite Christmas memory in just those six words.
This time around, I’m going to focus on your very last words — in life.
Whenever people pass away, those left behind often want to know what the last words were … especially if that person was famous. So I’m going to share some of those with you here:
— President John Adams (1735-1826) said, “Thomas Jefferson — still survives … .” Interestingly enough, Jefferson died on the same day.
— Akiba ben Yosef (c40-c135) said, “The paper burns, but the words fly free” (while at the stake, when the Torah was also burned).
— Marie Antoinette (1755-1793) said, “Farewell, my children, forever. I go to your Father.”
— Max Baer (1909-1959), American heavyweight champion, said, “Oh God, here I go … .”
— John Barrymore (1882-1942) said, “Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.”
— Sam Bass (1851-1878), a Texas outlaw, said, “Let me go, the world is bobbing around me.”
— Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827) said, “Friends applaud, the comedy is over.”
— Humphrey Bogart (899-1957) said, “I should never have switched from scotch to martinis.”
— James Brown (1933-2006) said, “I’m going away tonight.”
— Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977) … when the priest who was attending him at his bedside said “May the Lord have mercy on your soul,” Chaplin replied, “Why not? After all, it belongs to Him.”
— Lou Costello (1906-1959) said, “That was the best ice cream soda I ever tasted.”
— Bing Crosby (1903-1977) said, “That was a great game of golf, fellers.”
— James Dean (1931-1955) said, “My fun days are over.”
— Errol Flynn (1909-1959) said, I’ve had a hell of a lot of fun and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it.”
— Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson (1824-1863) said, “Let us pass over the river and rest under the shade of the trees.” (He had been inadvertently shot by his own men in the Civil War)
— Al Jolson (1886-1950) said, “This is it. I’m going, I’m going.”
— Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) said, “Is it the Fourth?”
— John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) said, “If someone is going to kill me, they will kill me.”
— Robert E. Lee (1807-1870) said, “Strike the tent.”
— Malcolm X (1925-1965) said, “Cool it, brothers …” (his last words before being assassinated)
— George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) said, “I want to sleep.”
— Dylan Thomas (1914-1953) said, “I have just had 18 whiskeys in a row. I do believe that is a record.”
— George Washington (1732-1799) said, “It is well I die hard, but I am not afraid to go.”
OK, not many of those were only six words. But that is the twist you face. I want you to send me what you hope will be your final words in this lifetime using only six words. Not five. Not seven. Exactly six.
Want an example of what works?
Here are the last words spoken by Elvis Presley (1935-1977): “I hope I haven’t bored you.”
And fair is only fair … here’s what I hope will be my last words: “It’s been a really wonderful journey.”
See how it’s done?
Now it’s your turn.
Send me your six-word final phrase — only one per person, please — by email, regular mail or drop it off at our office (no phone calls please). I must receive your entry no later than Friday, April 26, at noon.
Your entry could be part of my column on Saturday, May 4, and from those I receive, one will be chosen as my favorite and the author will be invited to lunch with me.
Start thinking … and remember: One entry, six words.
W. Curt Vincent can be reached at 910-506-3023 or cvincent@laurinburgexch.wpenginepowered.com.
