“You will always be your child's favorite toy.”
~Vicki Lansky, Trouble-Free Travel with Children, 1991
Messes are a theme in the lives of most parents. Whether they are a theme that causes happiness or anguish depends on your point of view, your personality, and your own experiences with messes as a child.
Preschool teachers know that messes are important to the development of young children. They even have a label for them – sensory activities. Nursery schools and day care centers abound with play dough, finger paint, easel paint, water, and sand play. All of which have great potential for becoming messes. Several programs I know of even have “mud day” regularly when, on hot days, they dress the children in bathing suits and let them wallow about in a gigantic mud puddle.
Now this is all different from messes at home because they are planned by adults. They have labels like art, fine motor activities, sensory activities. They are valued. They don’t happen accidentally. But messes at home are a different story. They mostly occur unplanned. And parents have a different set of priorities from early childhood educators – one of which is preserving their home and another of which is keeping their own sanity.
The problem is that outlawing messes sometimes has just the opposite effect. That is, the mess occurs in spite of parental warnings and then causes the parent a great deal of stress. You can outlaw anything you want, but the compelling qualities of making a mess are too strong for little children’s will power. My advice in this case is to let go, go with the flow, relax, enjoy yourself.
My husband came from a family where messes were considered a cardinal sin. So you can imagine his reaction to extreme sensory experiences on the part of his offspring. Today, with a 4 year old in our household, my husband says “I think parents should relax and let go sometimes. I remember some of the best times of my childhood were when my parents were gone and we children ate like pirates!” He was very sensory in his choice of words. It wasn’t a pretty picture, but it was, obviously, a very satisfying experience for him.
Too bad there isn’t such a thing as parenting school where we could all learn that messes fulfill a great need in children – probably in adults too. I just wish it wasn’t always an either – or question – your mess or my sanity!
Source: Family Information Services
FUN THINGS TO DO WITH YOUR CHILDREN
- Take a walk with your child. See how many different birds you can identify.
- Use the letters in your child’s name to write a poem about him.
- Together, make a list of the jobs that need to be done at home.
Make a job chart to share the work.
- Challenge your child to make a salad for the family. Include at least one unfamiliar
vegetable.
For more information contact the Scotland County Center of the North Carolina Cooperative Extension Service at 277-2422. Employment and program opportunities are available to all people regardless of race, color, national origin, sex, age, or disability. In addition, North Carolina State University welcomes all persons without regard to sexual orientation.
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