Members of the Gender Justice Club at St. Andrews Presbyterian College gathered in the Vardell Building on the college campus with community members for a candlelight vigil as part of Sexual Assault Awareness Month. The Domestic Violence Rape Crisis Center of Scotland County helped organize and run the event.
English, a volunteer a the Domestic Violence Rape Crisis Center, is no stranger to sexual abuse.
She was sexually molested as a child by a close relative, lived for nine years in an abusive marriage, suffering beatings and spousal rape and suffered a separate rape at the hands of an unknown assailant that authorities have been unable to identify.
She said the path to recovery was hard.
"It took me 20 years of my life to get to where I am now," English told members of the Gender Justice campus group. "When you are a victim... it seems like forgiveness is the hardest thing you can do."
After the last assault, English said she went down a dark road. She had addictions to sex and drugs, threw herself into work, trying to escape the ghosts of her path.
"I was trying to feel the void," English said.
She said it wasn't until God spoke to her, telling her to seek forgiveness that she
"He is showing me the way to healing," English said.
She said that forgiveness, while still difficult, came easier for her abuser as a child and her ex-husband.
The unknown assailant, however, was another matter.
"How can you forgive someone you don't know?" English asked.
Her solution - go into prisons and tell convicted rapists her story.
She said she found forgiveness though sharing her story.
She read Nikos Kazantzakis poem "The Butterfly," which likens the struggle of a butterfly in a cocoon to the struggles which are necessary for individual growth and achievement.
She said the poem describes the experiences of a sexual assault victim.
"It's like we're in an ugly cocoon," English said. She added, "I'm getting out of mine."
She cautioned people to pay heed to her message.
"These lessons are going to be for you and your friends," English warned. She said that everyone will have a friend, family or loved one go through a sexual assault and that they may need helping finding forgiveness.
At the conclusion of English's presentation, St. Andrews students Perry Morris and Jodi Frazier put on a brief musical performance, followed by the lighting of the candle.
The group of around fifty students and county residents stood in Vardell Lobby, taking turns reading statistics on sexual assault by candlelight.
Then, after a moment of prayer, the candles were extinguished. Some walked back tho their rooms, while others thanked English for sharing her story.
Gerry Johnson, director of the Domestic Violence Rape Crisis Center of Scotland County, believes programs like this are important in preventing sexual assault.
"Sexual assault is a problem on a lot of campuses," Johnson said. Information is the best source for reducing the frequency of rapes and sexual assault, according to Johnson.
"We really think its important to do the vigil, not just to honor the victims, but to inform people," said Ciara Seaborn, student leader for the club.
"We're really excited to be a part of this," Betsy Dendy, faculty sponsor, said. "we're always pleased for the connection with the students and the community."
Dendy also expressed pleasure in the vigil becoming an annual event. This is the fourth vigil the campus group has sponsored as part of Sexual Assault Awareness Month.
The candlelight vigil was cosponsored by the St. Andrews Presbyterian College Gender Justice Club and Domestic Violence Rape Crisis Center of Scotland County.
For information on how you can get volunteer with the local rape crisis center, call 276-6268.
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